deviantart | photogallery | friends | the past

How would you feel if you go to a place where there isnt any bonding and interaction?
instead you feel annoy, angry and out of place?
How long is the duration that the whole group of people takes to bond together?
Or is it not the time factor but instead the personality of one self?

I know they are nice people.
But sometimes, i just felt i cant interact with them.
Instead, i felt very much annoy lately.
I never had this problem before. No matter how annoying you are, i can take it.
After 2 years, we still cant bond together.
I got no best friend in cg whom i can really talk deep down like before.
And when the contacts come on friday & sunday, all the question is are you coming?
And not... what happen to you?
Is it how its suppose to be?

I am not a very faithful person in God.
I admit.
Because I ran away before.

And I am not running away now. And I never intend to.
Just i need a place that I wont feel out of place.
A place I can talk happily.
A place that is really truely concern of one another not only on friday and sunday.
But at least like a friend that we still keep contacts on any other day.

A simple 'Hello!' and 'How are you?' really do the magic.

I felt like I am giving trouble to her.
And I am grateful for everything that she's done to me in life.
I didnt want to disappoint her neither do I want to let her have the mindset "oh, she's running away again!"
NO!!!
But sometimes, its not everybody that you can interact.
Unless your EQ is super high till the whole world knows you. Cant be right?
Maybe I should find my own cg again?

I cant be force. I am stubborn.
I dont want means I dont want.

just my rant.
I may sound selfish but this is the least that i wish I wont feel out place.