deviantart | photogallery | friends | the past

I have been asking myself.
Whether... I have really let it go right now?
Do I still have any more feelings for him?
After all the sms that he send saying how he misses me.
I dont know. It makes me feel UNREAL for sure.
Abit annoy by it. Sometimes, have the urge for return.
But its not the same anymore.
I dont feel the heart beating fast like before.
Maybe anger or resentment i have towards him, has diminish day by day.
We have gone separate ways. For good.

I lived my new life with new motivations.
I saw this encourage quotes on TV Mobile while on the way back,

"Courage is not choosing route that is easier decision,
but rather by toughest decision."

Its tough for me to decide to leave someone whom I love that much in life.
I rely on people so much.
My little brother who pass away,
I have no choice but to let it go and not depress myself with the death.
The one whom I love for 5 years,
left for a reason. (Or maybe not)
And the toughest one is to return back to church after MIA for months.
You never know how people look at you for sure.
But I know one thing which I speak to myself that,
my daddy never looks at me in the same way as human beings are.
I come back for something that I want to change.
And maybe different from whom I have being christian for 5 years, did nothing to glorify.

And now, I am in this business line which the competition between online is hard to survive.
Especially the market has been spoilt for some reason.
Too much shop carry similar items to be found and no uniqueness on the apparel.
I really dont know what exactly has really happen to my shop.
Its not what it used to be.
I seem to have lost the luck I have?
Or my blessing from daddy hasnt reach?
I hate to wait. But I have to wait.
Come fast please.

2009 is not a good year start for me.
I have couple of hiccups along my life.
But I believe...somthing great is gonna to be better.
Maybe much more then what I expected.
I have to keep carry on.
Be strong zhuang.